Friday, 8 October 2010

The Story Of Us...

Intimacy - Commitment - Love.

You - Me - Us.

My heart leaps as I look at you, I smile as you lay in my arms on the sofa, and I trace your face with my fingers, our lips coming together slowly, two strangers, one blushing prayer, as we kiss, we meet, we move, and believe...
Your eyelids start to move, and our moment appears... yes, yes, I can see it now. You open your eyes and look at me, your soft brown eyes unable to move from my face.

I remember when we were young. I was afraid of falling in love - afraid to let go, until I found you. The best thing about you is that you're mine... you belong with me, to me, and was made for me...
we sit opposite each other on the water, in a boat. Everything is quiet, still. It's like an enchanted calm, just waiting for us to take hold of our moments, of our life together. You look at me and smile, and my whole world stops, just for a second. My heart races, I forget to breathe.
We sit, laughing and joking, blissfully unaware that minutes can turn into hours all too quickly. I turn away from him to see an army of birds rise up into the air, my thoughts distracted. My mind stays with them for as long as possible until I can no longer see them soaring above the clouds. I turn my head back towards you, and I smile, happy to see your face again. There it is, I see it. I nod my head, burst into tears and can't kiss or hug you enough to show you how much you mean to me. Suddenly, we're engaged.

I remember our fight - the one where I slammed the door, cried, ran outside, hit you... I shiver and shout as I brace myself for goodbye.
something cracked inside me on that wednesday afternoon, we'd been numb as silent snow.
You moved out, we'd been apart for way too long now, trying to live with the notion that we'd be worlds apart.
I sit out on the back porch every evening, and think of you. Where you are, what you're doing... and I wonder if you ever think of me. When I look out, I see nothing but the moon, nothing to remind me of you.
My diary is empty, marking all the idle writing i'd been forcing on the page, and all of a sudden I'm guarded. I need help - someone who can be sent to rescue me from this rage. You've made me weak when I should be strong. I've been dormant for too long now like I'd been in hibernation. I don't know if I can wake up and start to live my life once again, without you, and I can feel the end is closer now... it's coming... coming...
But I love you, then you take me by surprise, and out of the corner of my eye, I see you. You come closer towards me, and take me by the hand, and whisper in my ear, that you didn't understand.... that despite the pain, despite the suffering, you love me too much to let go, 'I'll never leave you alone...I can't live without you.'
You're the best thing - all mine.
She's the best thing - all mine.

[Finis] ***

***Please enjoy this extract responsibly. And by responsibly, I mean that this is best enjoyed wrapped up in your favourite oversized, chunky knit [scarf, jumper, dress] with a warm fire and a large cup of hot chocolate with lashings and lashings of warm, tasty cinnamon. If you have one to hand, throw in a boyfriend too.