Sonja Stone, [19th & Park Avenue, Soho, New York City, NY]
I sat inside my car silently, watching her, almost certain she had no idea that I was here, looking at her, wondering what she would do next. A small voice in the back of my mind told me that all of this was a step too far, that maybe it wouldn't all be worth it after all. But, I knew that somewhere in all of this, there was a catch 22 - and I was determined to find it. I took my eyes off her for a minute or two and let my mind trail off, before gazing down at my left hand to find the small, platinum band staring back up at me, nothing but a small token to remind me of him, but all the sentiment and affection that I had received from it had also managed to fade away to nothing. My fingers played around distractedly with the band on my finger as I started to think what my life might have been like if things had worked out the way they should have - the way I had wanted them to. The answer would have been simple - my life would have been fulfilled, complete, in need of nothing else, and certainly not having to have the need for anybody else in my life.
I had spent the best part of two years being a personal assistant to Daniel Thomas. Helping him with anything and everything that he needed, and being involved with almost every aspect of his life - and I fulfilled my job role and more to the best of my ability. I had been a perfectionist in every sense, and therefore as time went on and the bigger his media persona became, he had always found an excuse to keep me close by and at hand, even when there had been no need. Because of all of this, I had managed to fall in love with Daniel, harder and faster than ever before, but instead of being told the same thing by him, I became the recipient of the cruelest kind of love - the one that is full of heartbreak, unrequieted love. The more I fell in love with him, the more women I found myself dealing with on an everyday basis, countless numbers that would appear on and off for weeks at a time, but never long enough to acquire much more than a first name, and never long enough to try to read their characteristics and personality traits.
My first thoughts about Stacie Anderson were nothing special. She was insanely attractive, with excellent dancing skills to match, but apart from these factors, everything else seemed to be severely lacking. Her personality seemed dull and boring, and she seemed to be a workaholic, completely uninterested in everything else. Daniel had undoubtedly noticed her, and although I thought he would show, or usually feign, interest for a couple of weeks and then suddenly blow cold - his usual routine as the word 'relationship' was a million miles away from his vocabulary.
Weeks turned into months, and months turned into 6 months, and then a year, and yet Stacie had still managed to captivate him and hold his attention. The seductive glances were still never ending, the secret smiles were often and highly annoying, and I found myself clearing days at a time in Daniel's schedule so he could fit time in to see the new woman in his life. Before long, Daniel's eyes began to shine when anybody mentioned Stacie's name, a smile slowly pulling at his lips, and he seemed to be happier than ever, which pleased me as always, but frustratingly, it was for all the wrong reasons. Soon, Daniel began to use the term 'girlfriend' and I knew it was all over. I could tell Daniel the truth, and wait for his response, which would cause me to either be filled with feelings of happiness or humiliation. But seeing the way he looked at Stacie, the way she looked at him, the way they looked at each other, and most importantly, the way he looked at me, I knew that I would never be able to get the response I wanted.
Even now, I refuse to believe that it's all over for me. I had managed to have one night of passion with the person I had loved from the very moment I saw him, and I wasn't about to give up on that, or the reasons behind why it had even happened in the first place. He was everything I expected him to be, and more, and I was determined that if I could show him my loyalty and my love, he would find a way to get back to me.
2 weeks ago, everything changed. Daniel had always confided in me, having proven to him that I could be trustworthy, and told me he was going to propose to Stacie after managing to get her back. He didn't care if he loved her more than she loved him, he just wanted to be with her. My mind had started to race - and as if on autopilot, I started to reel off a hundred reasons why marriage was the wrong step, my wild hopes for Daniel's confession of love for me quickly being blown to the wind, but my attempts proved futile. Working late into the night wreaked havoc on my thoughts, and I found myself unable to focus on anything else, promising myself I would not surrender myself to having to nod my head good naturedly on their wedding day as the man of my dreams passed me by, wrapped forever and always into the arms of someone else, and not me.
I went into his office to say goodnight, and before I could stop myself, I planted my body in his arms and could feel my lips on his own, soft but still, as my mouth crushed down on his, despite feeling every part of him pull back from me in shock and confusion. I had proceeded to tell him everything, everything that I had kept locked away inside of me for 2 years came spilling out of me, and more. Daniel's voice turned from shock, to sympathy, and then finally, to anger as he bluntly assured me that there would be no hope for us, not now, not ever.
I was no longer with Daniel - he had conveniently found someone else for my replacement, forcing me to agree to settling on a six figure sum which would ensure that I wouldn't be involved in his life again. But now, sitting here inside my car, with nothing, watching the love of his life as she walked towards the dance studio, I didn't feel resentment or sadness, but I was filled with anger and pain. If I couldn't have him, then nobody else would - or could. Whatever happened, I would finally get what I wanted. That was one thing that would not be out of my control.
I had spent the best part of two years being a personal assistant to Daniel Thomas. Helping him with anything and everything that he needed, and being involved with almost every aspect of his life - and I fulfilled my job role and more to the best of my ability. I had been a perfectionist in every sense, and therefore as time went on and the bigger his media persona became, he had always found an excuse to keep me close by and at hand, even when there had been no need. Because of all of this, I had managed to fall in love with Daniel, harder and faster than ever before, but instead of being told the same thing by him, I became the recipient of the cruelest kind of love - the one that is full of heartbreak, unrequieted love. The more I fell in love with him, the more women I found myself dealing with on an everyday basis, countless numbers that would appear on and off for weeks at a time, but never long enough to acquire much more than a first name, and never long enough to try to read their characteristics and personality traits.
My first thoughts about Stacie Anderson were nothing special. She was insanely attractive, with excellent dancing skills to match, but apart from these factors, everything else seemed to be severely lacking. Her personality seemed dull and boring, and she seemed to be a workaholic, completely uninterested in everything else. Daniel had undoubtedly noticed her, and although I thought he would show, or usually feign, interest for a couple of weeks and then suddenly blow cold - his usual routine as the word 'relationship' was a million miles away from his vocabulary.
Weeks turned into months, and months turned into 6 months, and then a year, and yet Stacie had still managed to captivate him and hold his attention. The seductive glances were still never ending, the secret smiles were often and highly annoying, and I found myself clearing days at a time in Daniel's schedule so he could fit time in to see the new woman in his life. Before long, Daniel's eyes began to shine when anybody mentioned Stacie's name, a smile slowly pulling at his lips, and he seemed to be happier than ever, which pleased me as always, but frustratingly, it was for all the wrong reasons. Soon, Daniel began to use the term 'girlfriend' and I knew it was all over. I could tell Daniel the truth, and wait for his response, which would cause me to either be filled with feelings of happiness or humiliation. But seeing the way he looked at Stacie, the way she looked at him, the way they looked at each other, and most importantly, the way he looked at me, I knew that I would never be able to get the response I wanted.
Even now, I refuse to believe that it's all over for me. I had managed to have one night of passion with the person I had loved from the very moment I saw him, and I wasn't about to give up on that, or the reasons behind why it had even happened in the first place. He was everything I expected him to be, and more, and I was determined that if I could show him my loyalty and my love, he would find a way to get back to me.
2 weeks ago, everything changed. Daniel had always confided in me, having proven to him that I could be trustworthy, and told me he was going to propose to Stacie after managing to get her back. He didn't care if he loved her more than she loved him, he just wanted to be with her. My mind had started to race - and as if on autopilot, I started to reel off a hundred reasons why marriage was the wrong step, my wild hopes for Daniel's confession of love for me quickly being blown to the wind, but my attempts proved futile. Working late into the night wreaked havoc on my thoughts, and I found myself unable to focus on anything else, promising myself I would not surrender myself to having to nod my head good naturedly on their wedding day as the man of my dreams passed me by, wrapped forever and always into the arms of someone else, and not me.
I went into his office to say goodnight, and before I could stop myself, I planted my body in his arms and could feel my lips on his own, soft but still, as my mouth crushed down on his, despite feeling every part of him pull back from me in shock and confusion. I had proceeded to tell him everything, everything that I had kept locked away inside of me for 2 years came spilling out of me, and more. Daniel's voice turned from shock, to sympathy, and then finally, to anger as he bluntly assured me that there would be no hope for us, not now, not ever.
I was no longer with Daniel - he had conveniently found someone else for my replacement, forcing me to agree to settling on a six figure sum which would ensure that I wouldn't be involved in his life again. But now, sitting here inside my car, with nothing, watching the love of his life as she walked towards the dance studio, I didn't feel resentment or sadness, but I was filled with anger and pain. If I couldn't have him, then nobody else would - or could. Whatever happened, I would finally get what I wanted. That was one thing that would not be out of my control.
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