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Stacie Anderson, [Hillside Villas, West Manhattan, New York City, NY]
Ever since I had reunited with Daniel two weeks ago, we had not yet made love to each other. For many, making love is the most natural thing in the world; a physically expressive way of representing the way in which you love a person, uniting the feelings of passion, desire, lust, and love. Since we had been together, I found myself connecting with Daniel in deeper ways than I ever thought possible, and the adrenaline we both got from these new found feelings towards each other was more than enough to push our physical wants and needs further and further to the back of both of our minds. I had been able to achieve all encompassing perspectives in my new, revisited relationship with Daniel. I was able to find beauty and symmetry in just being with him, evoking feelings of passion and clarity that were even beyond my own understanding. I didn't know exactly why I was feeling these types of emotions, but I wouldn't ruin a good thing by destroying it with questions and over analysis, yet somewhere, in the back of my mind, I was starting to wonder if I could handle going back and forth between such extreme feelings of happiness and sadness. Instead of recurring, unrelenting nightmares that would haunt my thoughts from daybreak until dawn, my dreams were now filled with images of me and Daniel together on lazy days; sitting in endless fields and meadows, playing around and chasing each other in the cool summer rain; Daniel chasing me down, lifting me high up towards the clouds on his shoulder before dropping my body back into his arms, enveloping me in soft, dewy blankets of grass where he would let his fingers run through my hair, trace over my face, and steal sweet kisses from my lips, both of us ecstatic with pure happiness and laughter. I found my reality was not much far removed from my dreaming state, and Daniel would be asleep next to me, his hand wrapped in mine, or looking at my face, as if committing every part of it to memory, waiting patiently for my eyelids to stir and wake up slowly from my saccharine slumber to find his face staring back at mine. He had become exactly what I needed right now, and most of what I needed was careless, carefree fun, and as always, Daniel never came short of making sure he could satisfy me each and every time. I squeezed his hand softly as we both lay in my bedroom, and he looked up at me, from where he had rested his head against my breasts, both being full of elation, sans penetration. Since we had got back together, in my constant need for fun, our lives had taken more of a bohemian feel.
"Do you believe in the philosophy of Gaia? You know, that we're all one... you, me, the rocks, the sand, the moon, nature.... all one big organism? That everything's connected?" I said, more thinking out loud than posing this as a specific question towards Daniel. I knew that for him, articulate as he was, and more than capable of holding down an in depth conversation about various topics, this kind of discussion topic was just too early in the morning.
'Hmmmmmm......" Daniel replied, his head nuzzling my chest, as he kissed the curve running between my shoulder to my neck.
As the taste of his lips lingered on my skin, he looked up at me again from slightly below me on the bed, and my eyelashes lowered before focusing on the view outside, where the natural light hit me.
"You look so happy, baby." He said, his tone genuine and sincere. I looked into his face and even now, on a very rare occasion when he looked at me, I could still see that he harbored painful memories from our past and what had happened over the past year. When I looked at his face again a second later, the look had vanished and I was now getting steadily accustomed to his look of smug satisfaction, taking pride in the fact that he could wrap his arms around me whenever he wanted to, and I would even welcome this from him.
I looked down at him again and kissed him softly on the mouth. "I am happy. Plaisir D'Amour." I whispered softly.
I pushed some of the duvet covers back away from my body and sat up a little straighter on the bed, propping a mixture of cushions and pillowcases behind me. I raised my legs up and tucked them under my knees, then reached over to my dressing table beside the bed, and grabbed Daniel's shirt from where it had been thrown over the table the night before, and wrapped it around me, my body entirely covered and a couple of degrees warmer now, the only thing visible were the sight of my legs poking out underneath the hem of the shirt.
Daniel looked up at me and sat beside me, looking at me intently. "You know that I want to build a life with you, right? I want us to be forever."
I smiled and looked at him, my hand cupping his face as I grazed the outline of his firm jaw with my finger. "I know."
"I love you. I'm not afraid to say it. I love you, Stacie Anderson." He said, in a mock drawling tone, tinged with a Southern accent.
"Say it again." I said, as I whispered playfully in his ear, my breath hot and wet.
"I love you." Daniel mouthed wordlessly back at me. I smiled and looked down until he couldn't help himself for pressing for my reaction, and I rewarded him with a long, lustful kiss, still avoiding the 3 words he wanted me to say to him - again. Instead of talking about love, we made love, as if we were coming together for the first time, and able to see in a new light, with brand new eyes, as if this morning, was the union of our two worlds coming together, with an unbreakable and an untouchable bond forming between us that couldn't be tainted or destroyed by anyone or anything, least of all each other.
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