Stacie Anderson, [Gramercy Park Hotel, Gramercy, New York City, NY]
“Happy Birthday”. Daniel said as he looked at me and smiled, flashing his teeth at me as he gazed down, his eyes sweeping across every part of my face.
“Kiss me.” I said to him, as I looked up at him. His hand came up, and held my face in his as he bent his head slowly, so that his lips brushed softly against mine. My lips pressed down upon his and kissed him back, this time with more passion and desire, as I closed my eyes as I allowed myself to become completely wrapped up and lost in the moment.
I looked around as I stood beside Daniel; the largest balcony at the biggest party of the year was thoroughly deserted, with not one person in sight. I turned back towards Daniel again and looked out over the horizon, before looking up to see the stars in the sky twinkling back at me, as if they were winking.
Although it was my birthday, I was grateful and happy to be alone with Daniel. He had promised me that this party was the last of all of his many commitments before the summer months started, and after it was all over, he had said that we would go away somewhere, for a week, where we could have a chance to be alone – together.
The party had been an unbelievable parade of a vast selection of the biggest names in music coming together, some mixing business with pleasure, one of what seemed to be the music industry’s biggest unspoken rules, whilst others, like Daniel were only about business, and to his credit, he spent most of his time telling people adoringly what an amazing dancer and choreographer I was, of which everybody he spoke to was only too happy to hear everything and anything about me as the night carried on.
Daniel had literally spoken to every other person at the party, so from the moment we had arrived up until about ten minutes ago, we hadn’t actually turned to each other in order to have a conversation before the next person was introduced or came up excitedly to tap Daniel on the arm, or even just to stare adoringly in our direction until somebody else managed to usher them away quickly with embarrassing and apologetic smiles.
I continued to look out at the starry sky and then at the view of the city from where I stood, happy to have Daniel’s arms wrapped protectively around me as his fingers glided over my skin, as he placed a gentle kiss on my cheek.
The background music from inside the house that spread outside was soft, warm, and romantic, and for the first time I felt happy – euphoric even, that all of this had happened without a single thing going wrong.
Daniel turned my body back towards him now, and started to twirl me around slowly, his hands softly interlinking with my own, as he twirled me around again so that I stood opposite him once again.
I looked at him and raised my eyebrow playfully. He looked back at me and laughed.
“Let’s dance.”
“Everybody’s waiting for you…. “
“Well, I’m sure they won’t mind waiting…. You know, I could always make you dance....”
“I’m not threatened... In fact, I know I’m pretty good without your help… the last thing I need is you making me trip and fall down.”
“You underestimate me...”
“And you overestimate yourself. I don’t get distracted, easily, especially when it comes to dancing.”
“Oh, really…well, in case you haven’t noticed, I think you’ll agree that I’m your exception to this rule.”
“Prove it.” I said, raising an eyebrow, as I started to move my leg slowly.
Daniel looked at me and smiled, and stepped forward slowly, still talking, his eyes locked on mine as he moved closer and closer towards me, his face millimetres away from mine. His hands wrapped around my waist as he pulled my body towards his, my body falling into his hands as my hands came up and caressed his face. His fingers ran down my body as he caressed my arms, pulling his fingers through my own as his lips were inches away from my own now, his movements matching my own. I stroked his face as his mouth pressed down on the top of my lips, and then his fingers ran over my lips again as he smiled, my hands still stroking his face as I bent my head towards his, his eyes closed, before I felt my legs buckle beneath me. He pulled me towards him, and laughed, whispering gently in my ear. “See?” He said, before he took a step back from me, a smug smile appearing over his face as he watched me look away from him.
I looked down and smiled, as I looked up to see him gazing at me.
“What?”
“You look beautiful in that dress.”
“Yeah, not bad, and you brought it all by yourself, too.”
“Ha ha. Very funny!”
Looking down at my dress, I had to agree that it was an incredibly beautiful dress. It was black satin with a high collar, and at the back it was slashed all the way to my lower back. Daniel had given it to me this afternoon, just before I was about to start getting ready.
I had spent the morning with Daniel, doing nothing but just enjoying each other’s company, as we always had, as we always did, as I felt as though we always would continue to do so. It had been 4 months since we had spent our first night together, and in the morning, waking up to next each other, we hadn’t wanted any of it to end. For the very first time since my relationship with Michael, I had let all my guards down, and had let another person into my life without holding back, allowing them to see every side of me. We had spent all of this time together learning about each other, making each other laugh, making each other smile.
Dress rehearsals with the cast for pre-production had started last week before actual production started in a month, but coincidently, Daniel had been away on business for a couple of days last week, so had escaped the prospect of having to deal with any possible questions about our relationship. I hadn’t mentioned Daniel at all during our rehearsals, remaining professional at all times, and the cast had proved an unbelievable group of talented dancers to work with, so rehearsals had actually been a lot of fun, and a way for me to get back to my dancing – which had always been so incredibly important to me. Spending time with Daniel had also become equally important – as soon as we saw each other it felt as if we had been away from each other for longer than we actually had been, and although we loved spending time together, I still didn’t know everything about Daniel, but I had never really given it a second thought to ask him. When we were together, it was as if everything melted away, and I barely gave a second thought to anything.
A couple of days before the party, I had been at his house, where I had spent the night, and we were wrapped in each other’s arms, drinking hot chocolate and watching the rain fall down heavily outside the window. I stood out the window, looking up at the grey sky full of thunderclouds and heavily overcast, while I cradled my mug of hot chocolate before I turned around, and looked over and smiled at Daniel, who was looking at me whilst sitting down on the sofa. He held his arm out towards me, and gestured for me to come closer, until I stood in front of him, and he pulled me down, as I giggled, onto the sofa beside him. I wrapped myself back around the blanket once again as he pulled me into his arms, my head resting gently on the top of his shoulder as he kissed the top of my forehead lightly, and I sat back, listening to the sound of his breathing, whilst his fingers played with the loose curls in my hair.
He breathed in and sighed deeply, and got up slightly from the sofa, as he sat up straight, and looked at me, lying back peacefully on the sofa next to him as I looked at him and smiled.
“Stace… you know I have so much to do next week…. I don’t know that we could see each other.”
I smiled, taking his hand in mine, playing with his fingers, my fingers tracing lightly over the lines on the palms of his hands.
“Is that a reason or an excuse?”
“I don’t know… I’m just telling you the truth…. “
“I know. We both have busy lives, our careers pulling us in different directions. It’s been 4 months of me being with you. You being with me, and we’ve always found a way to be together. What’s going to be so different about next week?”
“Nothing…. I just thought I should tell you. Right now, I always have small events, big events that I need to pay attention to.”
I nodded, and sat up, my blanket falling off my shoulders and onto the floor as I did so. I looked at him, before I shifted my body closer to his and cradled his face in my own, stroking his cheek, where a short amount of stubble had started to grow. His eyebrows furrowed as he looked down, his facial expression brooding.
“I’m a big event.” I said, raising my eyebrows and laughing as I looked at him, before he looked at me and smiled.
“Always…” He said, kissing me slowly on the mouth, closing his eyes as he did so.
“I just want you to know….” He said, looking into my eyes before he continued, losing my focus as I stared back into his eyes as he started to speak again.
“I don’t feel alone anymore… I used to, with all of this pressure, with all of this expectation on my shoulders… but it doesn’t matter, not anymore, not as long as I’m with you.” He said, before I looked at him.
“How can you feel alone, when you have everyone around you willing to do whatever you want them to do?”
“That’s exactly what I mean, though. Being in this spotlight, it’s incredibly isolating. You lose the true people around you – suddenly they disappear from your life in an instant – only to be replaced with these seemingly perfect replicas – all willing, wanting, and waiting to do anything for you, until you fall, and then once you fall, you become a nobody, easily replaced, easily forgotten, and in their world, nobody wants to be around a nobody.”
I looked at him, and smiled, still holding his face. “You’re never alone.” I said, looking at him and kissed him on the mouth.
“So, there’s this party… on Friday that I want you to go to with me.”
“Yeah, sure. But, I mean shouldn’t someone else go, especially if it’s a work thing. Why don’t you ask Sonja? I’m sure she’d love an invite.” I said, playfully giving him a smile.
“She is going, but that’s not the point….” He said, grabbing my hand and holding it up to his while he looked at me.
“The point is, I want you there. I need you with me.”
“Well, it’s my birthday.” I said, looking at him.
“I know, and I already have something else planned for that. This is just something I have to do, and I was hoping you’d come. You are my girlfriend, after all…the only woman for me….” He said, whispering softly in my ear as he kissed my ear lobe, before he whispered in my ear; “And I love you.”
“What?”
“I love you.” He said, sitting back on his knees on the sofa, looking at me as I tried my best to process what he had just said.
“I can’t believe it… “I said, looking at him, both of my hands wrapped around his face as he looked at me, waiting for my reply, waiting for me to say something, to say anything. And I wanted to, I wanted to tell him those three little words he wanted to hear, but somehow, just as I started to open my mouth to speak, something stopped me, and each time, I pulled myself back at the last minute.
I didn’t know how I felt. I did – I felt happy, euphoric when I was with Daniel – I loved everything about him, I loved spending time with him, I loved him, but I didn’t know if I was in love with him. I didn’t know if I could be – after everything I had been through with Michael, all the waiting, all the wondering, the many nights I sat up alone night after night, thinking whether he loved me or not, whether he would say the words to me, and a couple of months after he had, we had loved each other, and the relationship had ended.
“I don’t know what to say….I love you too, but being in love… I don’t know if I’m there yet…” I said, still holding his face in my own.
“Don’t worry about it… its fine.” He said, kissing me gently on the lips quickly, tracing his fingers across my lips gently before he got up off the sofa and stood up. As he started to walk away, I grabbed his hand, turning his body back towards me.
“Are you sure you’re Ok about this?” I said, looking up into his face as he stared right back at me.
“Yeah, in fact I want you to wear something – it’s a dress – for the party.”
“Sure.” I said, as I got up, following him around the sofa and out into the hallway, before he held my hand and pulled me into the bedroom. He walked towards the built in wardrobe standing to the right of the vast room, next to the four poster bed, and took out a dress, and placed it in my hands, as my hands ran over the material, made of the softest satin, and ebony black in colour.
I walked into the en suite bathroom to try the dress on, feeling like a goddess even as I tried the dress on, the material running over my skin as it glided on, fitting me like a glove – my perfect size. I looked into the mirror, and ran a hand over the dress, and even I had to admit that it looked amazing. The high collar looked elegant, demure, and glamorous, while the slash at the lower back brought a more dramatic feel to the look of the dress.
I came out of the bathroom, walking gently forward as I twirled around as Daniel’s eyes skimmed over the dress, my body, my face, every part of me, his eyes betraying his look of gentle adoration.
“It’s perfect.” He said as he looked at me. “You look perfect in it.” He said, and smiled.
*
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